rambosie: I’m pretty embarrassed as I post this. Because of the before, AND the after, but I feel it’s necessary. In two weeks I’m supposed to be going to Laughlin with my boyfriend, two of his best friends and their girlfriends.  We will be spending the majority of the time on a boat or on the beach. I want so badly to be excited about this, but I’m not. In fact I’m dreading it. So much to the point where I don’t want to go. My boyfriends friends (who in reality are MY friends too) are quite infatuated with their girlfriends and how perfect they are. One of the girls is 5’2 116lbs, with an absolutely perfect curvy but small body, and the other is probably 5’2 or 5’3 and maybe 120(with the majority of that being her GINORMOUS boobs). I’m 5’8 150ish lbs, I have no boobs, I have a nasty flabby stretch marked stomach, and (according to remarks I’ve heard lately) my ass could stand a lot more squats. Basically, I do not at all have a bikini/swimsuit body. I’m terrified. I’ve worked so hard not to be the fattest girl in the room, to be exactly that on this trip.But 2 years ago I took that first picture.  I felt sexy. Yeah, I was drunk, but I remember taking pictures like those for my boyfriend at the time and knowing how excited he got by them. I knew that he loved how big I was. He loved my curves and he loved my fat. So it didn’t matter. And because I already WAS fat and was doing nothing to change it, I just worked it. But now, I’ve worked SO hard. I’ve put in hours of sweat and tears and pain to lose weight. And I still can’t wear a bikini and not feel like a beached whale. I almost feel worse than I did then, because I worked so hard and I just didn’t get there. I’m scared. But I’m trying SO HARD to tell myself to stop comparing myself to these girls. They never weighed 273 pounds, so of course they don’t have stretch marks. Of course they don’t feel uncomfortable with their bodies because they’ve always had the same ones, and it’s always been the ones people accept as ‘how a woman should look’. But it isn’t ABOUT them. I feel comfortable with my body when I’m not around those kind of girls, and I need to feel just as comfortable when I AM with them. I’ve come so far. And although I may not look great in a bikini, I DEFINITELY look a lot better than I USED to. And I have an awesome story to tell. 

rambosie:

I’m pretty embarrassed as I post this. Because of the before, AND the after, but I feel it’s necessary. 

In two weeks I’m supposed to be going to Laughlin with my boyfriend, two of his best friends and their girlfriends.  We will be spending the majority of the time on a boat or on the beach. I want so badly to be excited about this, but I’m not. In fact I’m dreading it. So much to the point where I don’t want to go. 

My boyfriends friends (who in reality are MY friends too) are quite infatuated with their girlfriends and how perfect they are. One of the girls is 5’2 116lbs, with an absolutely perfect curvy but small body, and the other is probably 5’2 or 5’3 and maybe 120(with the majority of that being her GINORMOUS boobs). I’m 5’8 150ish lbs, I have no boobs, I have a nasty flabby stretch marked stomach, and (according to remarks I’ve heard lately) my ass could stand a lot more squats. Basically, I do not at all have a bikini/swimsuit body. I’m terrified. I’ve worked so hard not to be the fattest girl in the room, to be exactly that on this trip.

But 2 years ago I took that first picture.  I felt sexy. Yeah, I was drunk, but I remember taking pictures like those for my boyfriend at the time and knowing how excited he got by them. I knew that he loved how big I was. He loved my curves and he loved my fat. So it didn’t matter. And because I already WAS fat and was doing nothing to change it, I just worked it. But now, I’ve worked SO hard. I’ve put in hours of sweat and tears and pain to lose weight. And I still can’t wear a bikini and not feel like a beached whale. I almost feel worse than I did then, because I worked so hard and I just didn’t get there. 

I’m scared. But I’m trying SO HARD to tell myself to stop comparing myself to these girls. They never weighed 273 pounds, so of course they don’t have stretch marks. Of course they don’t feel uncomfortable with their bodies because they’ve always had the same ones, and it’s always been the ones people accept as ‘how a woman should look’. But it isn’t ABOUT them. I feel comfortable with my body when I’m not around those kind of girls, and I need to feel just as comfortable when I AM with them. I’ve come so far. And although I may not look great in a bikini, I DEFINITELY look a lot better than I USED to. And I have an awesome story to tell. 

70 notes
Posted on Wednesday, 25 July
Reblogged from: rambosie
Posted by: rambosie
Next Post     Previous Post
  1. danniegetsfit reblogged this from rambosie
  2. heresyourinspiration reblogged this from rambosie
  3. believe50 reblogged this from rambosie
  4. strengthreclaimed reblogged this from rambosie and added:
    Honest testimony.
  5. agapewarrior reblogged this from over-fed
  6. happyhealthyskinnyy reblogged this from fatchicktobadchick
  7. kesshrouge reblogged this from mirandagettingfit
  8. diamondruby789 reblogged this from rambosie and added:
    Heck yeah, girl!! Be proud of your hard work!! You look amazing and your body thanks you for choosing a healthy...
  9. themhipbones reblogged this from toobeehappy
  10. fatchicktobadchick reblogged this from mirandagettingfit
  11. toobeehappy reblogged this from strongerthanyourdoubt
  12. strongerthanyourdoubt reblogged this from mirandagettingfit and added:
    ^^ these feelings.
  13. onepoundaway reblogged this from mirandagettingfit
  14. strong-pretty-fierce reblogged this from mirandagettingfit and added:
    She’s so amazing! Seriously you look great.
  15. raspberry-zest reblogged this from mirandagettingfit
  16. over-fed reblogged this from rambosie and added:
    You need to turn your ask on so that we can send you better pep talks! But I’ll do it here for now. First, you can...
  17. beautifully-innocent reblogged this from geeky-n-fit
Back to top